Grace

Grace really is amazing. It's worth reminding ourselves sometimes.

K, here's what I learned this week: That being gracious towards others opens the door to being gracious with yourself (goodness, doesn't that sound like a self help book). It's true though! Near the beginning of the week I was feeling frustrated with some of the imperfections that I perceived in the people around me. Then I heard the morning devotional podcast from http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/, which was all about grace, and I just realised what valuable people they really are, in spite of their flaws. And if that's the way God sees them, and wants me to see them, that's the way he sees me, and wants me to see myself as well! Hooray

So maybe not so new an idea today, but certainly an important one, eh?

D.

Study in Humour

While I was searching on the internet, I found this page: http://www.erenkrantz.com/ArtsCore/. It's not in my nature to be mean or discouraging, in fact quite the opposite, but I can't help thinking that none of the pictures are very funny. As a study in humour, can anyone come up with any suggestions as to why?

I was watching Eddie Izzard the other day, he IS quite funny, and I think that part of the reason is that he expects to get a laugh - he delivers his lines in such a way that he's like "c'mon, laugh!" and people do. I was also listening to "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" on radio 4 'listen again', and how come the words 'Mornington Crescent' can be funny, as can the line 'Tina, come get some haaam', but other things aren't? What's that all about?

If you want more examples of the type of thing I'm talking about, try http://www.tes.co.uk/Caption_competition/. It's amazing the variety of answers there, some of which are funny, and some of which aren't. While I think about it, why not try entering, let's see if one of us can win it.

D.

Is it Christian to own a Ferrari?

When I look back at my journal from 6 months or so ago. I can tell that because I look at what I wrote and think ‘That seems immature’. I don’t know in exactly what way though!

My bro writes some really impressive stuff on his blog. A recent post contained the line 'Living without purpose is dying without a cause'. 17- Amazing!

At the moment I'm on a journey of trying to distinguish how much we as Christians should go on principle, or self discipline, and how much we should just live life, based on our desires. It was brought up for me while I was on holiday with a friend who is far more a 'heart' person (while I am far more of a 'head' person).

Sometimes Christians (especially in this country) can be so sensible. I recently read in a children's holiday club manual on the theme of pirates: 'you should be dressed as pirates, but without any references to disability (eye patches, wooden legs etc.)'. Some might see this as a sensible precaution (agaist what?!), but it's just sooo RATIONAL, or REASONABLE, or LOGICAL or SAFE. - Who cares?!

Do you know, I don't think that there's a word for it. If anyone can find a good one, let me know. All of our words meaning 'based on thought' have positive connotations. What I really need is a word which means: 'based-on-reason-in-such-a-way-that-it-takes-away-from-fun-or-any-sense-of-enjoyment' or something like that. In some cases it can seem like our job as Christians is to be the sensibleness of the world. We can't be creative or wild or passionate or crazy - the main job of the Christian is sensibleness. Doh!

Another example is the idea that Christians should always go for the 'middle way' when making purchases (e.g. buying cars). They shouldn't get the cheapest option, because that's generally bad stewardship (it'll break down sooner, and in some cases it can mean oppression of the poor producers). They shouldn't go for the most expensive option, because that will again be poor stewardship, and will probably be based more on show than anything else. To quote John Wesley (quoted by Richard Foster) 'As... for apparel, I buy the most lasting and, in general, the plainest I can. I buy no furniture but what is neccessary and cheap'.

See, I actually agree with that. I run a scooter, rather than a car, because it's cheaper and I don't need a car; I only have two pairs of jeans that I wear (this is in the hope of inspiring, not to boast in myself) - but the thing is, if followed in every case it just leads to boring-ness! Where's the place for a person who loves guitars, and has like, 12 of 'em? Or does it suggests that a Christian should never own a ferrari? AND that ferarri as a company is a bad or a sinful thing? PLEASE, let's be real, let's escape materialism, but let's NOT be boring. I would rather be totally poor, giving everything away, or totally rich (and generous), but to be mediocre? AARGH!

love

D

... while I think of it

It took me about 5 minutes to buy risk last night, from ebay, all without leaving my sofa. That's pretty crazy, eh?

D.

Risk

Yeah, I came back here. Typepad doesn't work with Safari.

Some of my happiest memories come from playing Risk together at Steve's house, listening to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, or Blues Traveller, or Ryan Adams. The pieces were plastic, and star shaped, like this:

The other evening I was playing cards with my housemates here in Worthing, and just before we all went to bed, 'Goodnight Hollywood Boulevard' came on the stereo. Although they didn't realise it, I felt quite emotional.

Today I bought a risk board; things are definitely looking up. The pieces look just like this.

New Blog

Hi there! I know that I've not been blogging here for very long, but I've just opened up my new Blog at www.thoughtsandstories.typepad.com. Please go there for my latest posts!

All the best,

D.

Thoughts: Japan

Hihi, in Japan. The plane didn't crash or anything.

My observations on Japanese life:
- People are very polite here, for example:
It's very rude to blow your nose loudly in public
People just don't talk loudly on the train, or use mobile phones
People bow a lot to each other

- People are very law abiding, street crime is virtually non-existent. People don't even cross the road when the red man is showing.

- The roads are very people-friendly.

- It feels like a very Asian city to my mind, similar to India, in that:
The streets are very busy
There isn't a high priority on neatness, or symmetry, or balance - it's more a riot of colours and sounds (and smells!)

- People spend a lot of money here on fashion, and on consumer electronics. People's appearance matters a lot to them. Part of the reason I think that they spend so much on these things is that they HAVE a lot of money, and they can't invest it into their houses - people don't buy houses over here, because it costs so much - and they don't drive, in Tokyo at least, so they've got a limited amount of other things to spend it on.

- There are a LOT of gadgets. The house I'm staying in has an a toilet with a built in bidet and an automatic flush, all controlled by a little panel on the wall.

Those are my thoughts so far!

D

Bye!

Well, tomorrow I leave for Japan.
All the best,

D.

Happiness

Ready Brek makes me happy! :-)







(well, actually it's Tesco instant hot oat cereal, but they taste the same!)

comment: Scary stories

Inspired by watching Dead Poets Society again, I want to invite us to inspire each other, and to challenge each other to get a bit closer to the edge. Don't be afraid of this, I know that we're English, but it doesn't mean that we HAVE to keep silent about our achievements. The idea is that we comment, telling about a risk that we took recently - something that really scared us. Somebody MUST have done something more risky than walk across 7/3 meter pole over a gushing torrent/trickling brook (depending on who you believe - I was there, I should know!!) You can post anonymously if you want. If you haven't done anything that scared you in the past month, then maybe you should, right now, if for no other reason than to write it here.

All the best,

D.

Story: The third one

A quick storyline that I don't have time to write into a proper story: At the moment a person is quite angry with me. Without wishing to justify myself, it's over an area of her life that I challenged her on. I believe that it was right in the context to bring the challenge (and that she brought about the circumstances leading to the challenge). I believe that I communicated the challenge clearly, in context, and with an understanding that I supported and cared (care) about her. However, she also didn't want to talk very much. She stopped the conversation, and has been angry with me since.

She's not actually angry with me because of what I said; I'm not sure that she's even really angry with ME, but rather with people and circumstances in her past. However that expresses itself in anger towards me. It's a shame, but I can accept this. The other thing, however, is that part of her expressing her anger is that she is communicating her frustrations with other people. This means that other people have a bad impression of me, without knowing the full story.

I thought that this second thing would be the final straw, but you know what? It isn't! I don't mean that there's more that she's done, but rather that it hasn't broken anything - I still can't feel angry with her. I just can't think of anything except blessing towards her. I really honestly hope and pray that she is very happy and contented.

I'm glad that I feel that way.

Things that have been confirmed to me are:

- That talking about things is the only way to resolve any issue, otherwise they never get dealt with

- That you shouldn't talk to others about a negative situation, until you've talked directly to the person invovled.

(I'm aware that that second point may seem hypocritical as I'm blogging this - please comment on whether it is, in your opinion! I feel that one important distinction is that you don't know the identity of the person).

Best wishes,

D.

story: The man who liked to be scared

As he drove past along the high road, the thought entered his mind. "No," he instantly dismissed it. There's no point. It's not rational. Why would I want to? It doesn't make sense.

15 minutes later he found himself standing at the spinney, facing the 'Bridge'. The Bridge was a railway sleeper, 2 meters above the river, 7 meters long, and 10cm wide. Walking across it was the scariest thing he'd ever done.

He wasn't really unnerved at all by the fact that he was alone, in a secluded spot, in the dark, but the walking over the 'bridge' made his mouth dry, his heart pound, and his breathing shallow. Which is why he had to do it.

- Now, let's pause for a moment here. Because of my aforementioned intensity, I have a propensity for making things seem more melodramatic than they actually are. Please hear me here, I KNOW that it's not actually all that scary or dangerous, and that if I fell in, I'd only just get wet, but you're missing the point of what I'm trying to share with you if you focus on that! -

He inched forward along the beam. Half way across he glanced down at the surface of the water. Having no reference point on which to judge his balance, every sway seemed to be a major lurch towards falling in. And, because he was nervous, when he felt himself leaning one way, he overcompensated in leaning the other, which brought him even closer to falling in. Half way accross, looking at the surface of the water, he nearly fell. He tensed up like Road Runner finishing a run. He carried on, edging slowly, slowly.
Near the end was a tricky bit, where the bridge went under a tree. You had to push the clawing, scratching branches out of the way to get past, but you could get stuck if you tried to balance against them. They were no more than twigs - wouldn't hold your weight, - false friends. If you leant on them they'd give way, and you'd be in the water. He reached up his hand, to clear the way for himself. All he was aware of were his feet, the river, and the feel of the tree, digging lightly into his hand.

And then he turned around.

He stopped what he was doing, within a breath of the end, and turned around, and walked, very slowly and carefully back the way he had come. Then when he got there, he turned around, and went back again, a bit more confidently.

He kept wandering up and down that plank, not until it didn't scare him at all, but at least until he could say he was mostly over his fear of it - he had conquered it!

And this has been his experience time and and time again. He can't get away from things that scare him. He can avoid them, for a while, but then they creep up on him, and he has to do them. He even feels kinda flabby, or out of shape, when he hasn't done anything scary in a while. He is a man who can't resist being scared. If something scares him, he will end up doing it. He can't say why., it's just something he does. And long may it continue.

much love

D

Thought: The book of Daniel

Pheee-ew: difficulties of interpretation in the book of Daniel. Do you know how many incredibly intelligent and learned people have devoted YEARS of study to the question: "Was Daniel written in the second or the sixth century BC?" ? One book I'm reading lists 28 commentaries and over 300 other works in its bibliography - i.e. that's how many books the author had to read to write his book - and it's only a fairly 'light' commentary on Dan!

And do you know what kills me - they haven't found an answer yet! Isn't that crazy!?

This actually peels off the corner of the sticking plaster and takes a furtive, inquisitive look at one of the potential wounds in approaching theology that I can see ahead of me - if the experts disagree so much on so many things, then how can we be sure about anything we believe?! However, it might well be the case that when the time comes to operate, I find that it's actually been healed by a greater understanding of what my faith is based on.

Yours with mild confusion.

D.

thought: Being intense

I can be a fairly intense person, I came to realise recently. This has some down sides. However, Andy says that he reckons King David, and Paul were both intense people too, so at least I'm in good company.

Let's hear it for being wildly, unnervingly passionate! (and hope that we can learn when not to be, too).

D.

story: The Fox and the Cat

The cat and the fox got on well when they first met. Very well – they really ‘hit it off’.’ After a short time, the fox said he liked the cat the cat said she liked the fox.

Happily ever after?

No. From that point on, things started to go downhill. The cat started to act like the fox didn't exist. She turned her back on him, wouldn’t talk with him, and made him feel awkward. Pretty soon after, she told him that actually, she’d changed her mind, and she didn’t like him in that way after all.

The fox was a very well-meaning animal. He always wanted to get on well with people - he thought he'd done something wrong. However, the cat never wanted to talk about it. She avoided talking about anything at all, and the Fox didn’t know why. She continued ignoring and not talking.

Three months down the line, the fox has just spoken to the cat about it. After three months of feeling awkward, it transpires that (and remember, the cat still doesn't want to talk very much about it, so the fox didn't get much out of her), that she was keeping him at arm’s length so that she wouldn’t his hopes up. That because he had felt attracted to her, she rejected any possibility of friendship with him, in case he continued ‘liking’ her.

From the Fox’s perspective, he feels that: This has been belittling to him and immature on her part. She assumed that the fox was incapable of platonic friendship and needed to be forced back ‘with a stick’ as it were. Is that really the case?! He also feels that her way of dealing with the situation has been imprudent: talking about this matter openly would have brought a much more positive resolution, and he imagines that they could be good friends now if they had spoken. Conversely, avoiding it has just brought awkwardness and hurt. He would like to talk to her about these things, but she doesn’t want to talk about it.

(The Fox recognises that this is just his side of the story)

The fox thinks forgiveness is essential, and bitching is never acceptable. His bible reading for this morning was ‘Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another’ (Colossians 3:13, NIV, Biblegateway.com) and that’s what he’s trying to do. He sees a lot of good things about the cat, and hopes that they can one day be friends. He no longer cares about her opinion of him though, especially with regards to his maturity.

And the Fox has learned from this situation:

That talking about things is nearly always better than not talking about things.

That you should never just ignore or be cold to someone if you suspect they like you – it’s a really bad idea.
(On a side note – the Fox today spent some time with one of his best friends, who at one point said she was attracted to him. They talked openly about it, and now they get on really well!)

The fox also looks forward to the day in heaven when he and the cat will look back on this and laugh with each other.

D.

story - Once upon a time...

There was a boy who liked to say "why?" Not in a malicious way, just an inquisitive one, because that's the type of boy he was. He would say 'Why does the universe work like this?' or 'Why can't everything be much better?' or, when he was stressed: 'Why is this person being unpleasant?' (the age-old question of the universe)

A long time ago, the boy stepped onto a train. Since then, the train has carried him a very long way, and he has learned to lean on the train with all of his weight. The train has taken him places he would never have gone, meeting people he would never have met, and, he envisages that it will be correct way to progress into life after death.

Recently though, he started particularly asking questions on the train. He started picking at the surface - seeing what lay beneath. He stuck his head down to see where the pistons worked, and where the steam went, and how the cogs meshed together. And the more he found out, the more he discovered that there was to know, and more he knows, the less he understands.

HOWEVER > the train carries on going. He doesn't understand how it works, but it keeps going, and carries him along. He doesn't need to know how it works, just as long as it does. He'll carry on relying on it, leaning with his full weight upon it, having faith in it. Whatever he learns about the train will never convince him that the train doesn't work; 'science tells us that the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly' ! He knows that the train is working because he's on it.

And therefore, every thought and every story must be read in the light of this one - that no matter how confused he may get, the boy continues to travel by train. He will let you know if he ever decides that he was deceived, and wasn't travelling by train at all, but until that day, the boy carries on leaning with his full weight, going places he would never have gone, meeting people he never would have met, and increasingly doing things you really shouldn't do.

all the best,

D.

Thought: Violence on TV

This is by no means an original thought, but I would like to see media role models setting a good example, especially in the area of conflict resolution.

Violence is the key method of resolving differences in almost any media piece. It's a staple plot line in a TV show or movie to have a protaganist (hero) overcoming an enemy using violence. For example, see shrek 2, where Shrek storms the palace to kiss Fiona, while riding on the back of a giant muffin man. And this a kid's movie!

I'm less worried that people will go and shoot one another after watching a violent film - I'm also talking about programs like Eastenders and the OC, where people get violent and shout at one another to resolve differences. The (primary school aged) children that I work with see violence - shouting, aggression, expressions of anger, as the first alternative in times of disagreement. They learn this from their parents, and from the TV. Part of my work is to teach them other ways to deal with these things, but it would be much easier if they had at least some examples to work from.

I don't know whether I am a 100% pacifist. There certainly seems to be something inside of us that loves seeing good triumph over evil in a pitched battle. I can imagine that Die Hard would be pretty weak if Bruce Willis had been like 'Yippie Ki Ay Cowboy, Let's sit down and dialogue about our differences in a dispassionate and empathetic manner" I think it really relates to the question of whether we can agree with the principle of a just war or not, about which I'm not sure. However, there seems to be so many examples of violence, of win/lose situations, of people imposing their wills onto others, that we never actually get to see any GOOD examples, of people dealing with conflict in such a way that it brings mutual benefit to both parties.

I think we should have something to re-dress the balance. Now, script writers? Authors? Anyone willing to take up the challenge?

Aha. My new blog.

Here it is.

D.